One of the many books I am reading right now is “Raising a Modern-Day Knight” by Robert Lewis.
In this book the author stresses the importance of having:
1. A vision of manhood – This vision of manhood will be obtained through community, family, and church.
What kind of vision of manhood is your son receiving if these are the avenues from which he is suppose to receive this vision or picture of manhood?
2. A code of conduct – You should train your son to obey God’s will, to pursue the unique work for which he was created, and to give honor to women.
The story is told in the book that when Percival leaves home in the story of King Arthur, his mother tells him that “when a man fails to honor ladies, his own honor must be dead.”
Are you teaching your son to honor ladies. This should begin with his mother and sisters and move beyond them to the other ladies he comes into contact with.
3. A transcendent cause – This is (defined by the author) “a mission that lifts us beyond ourselves, a passion that stirs us to a self-sacrifice and causes us to contribute to the larger community.
He goes on to say “it is not something that we do in additino to everything else; instead, it is the one factor that motivates everything else we do.
I believe it is purpose for your life that has eternal value.
Are you teaching your son to live with an eternal paradigm and for eternal treasures or are you setting him up to be a covetous, selfish individual?
We are stewards over our children! God has entrusted them to us. If we disciple the world and lose our own sons what have we accomplished. Have a purpose and plan as you raise up your son. Don’t just think he is gpoing to end up being a man one day. It won’t happen. He needs you to know what it means to be a man and lead him to being one also.
One other interesting and stressed point in this book is the importance of ceremony. I can relate to this very well as this is something that is stressed in the Xhosa community. In South Africa when a young man is to become a man he will go off to the bush for approximately six weeks (which is about the amount of time it takes for him to heal.) On his arrival to the bush he immediately goes through the first step to manhood and htat is circumcision. This is performed with a blade and thereafter there are not to be any modern medicines applied to the wound. For the next six weeks he is taught about what it means to be a man.
At the end of this time he exits the bush and heads back to the family house to be welcomed with a celebration of his new manhood. It is probably the greatest day of many of the Xhosa men’s lives. They have no doubt about their manhood after this process and ceremony.
Though I would not agree with much of this process and with the ceremony, I love the fact that these young men are confident in their manhood and have a process and ceremony to look back on to assure them of it.
I would suggest you get this book and consider and use what you can to help your son grow up to be a confident, and godly young man.